Today I'm just having a day.  It must be the lunar eclipse because all the sadness and hopelessnesss of my last relationship is filling my mind and bringing out great sobs of sadness.  How much can a person cry anyway?

I really love him.  Deep down inside of me I still feel it even though he couldn't listen to me, could not view me as a person with feelings and sadness inside, even though we became adversaries over the years.

I would go back to him in a second if he said he was sorry and wanted to work things out with me.

I would.

I read through many of my channeled writings from when we first met and had issues.  My guides kept telling me that he loved me but that he had huge trust issues.  And that my needs would not be met.

I really feel like he never trusted me.  He always believed that I was looking for someone else.

What kind of shit is going on in my head that I bring this into my life?

Anyways, I gave the universe until midnight to hear from him.  If I hear from him, I will try my best to work things out.  If not, I will now that it's time to move on.

So, universe, the ball is in your court...